garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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