I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
