So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
