There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
