Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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