i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
