Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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