conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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