I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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