fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize