the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
