Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize