I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize