I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
