Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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