How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
