just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
