Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need moral support for this bender
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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