Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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