I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.