Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize