At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
why is half of my head shaved?
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