mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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