dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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