Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Semen is not good for contacts.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
