Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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