you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
