so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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