why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
