he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
