why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
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He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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