Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
