i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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