Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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