hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize