also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
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I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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