some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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