I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
