i don't like sucking hair
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I pour the whiskey from now on
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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