who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
