The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize