it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
