I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
