things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
