He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
