My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize