I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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