Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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