im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
