Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
