I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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