Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
