I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You're like the curious george of whores
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
