Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
