Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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