can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
