Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
