we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
