did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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