I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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