I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
