i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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