I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
