Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
did i walk over a car last night?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
