D3 body, D1 cock
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
